


Company Picnic

by PeppyBismilk



Series: Solution Selling [3]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Office, Alternate Universe - Scientists, Dirty HR Jokes, Drunken Kissing, Fluff, Hook-Up, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Stays at the Company Picnic, Swearing, Until it Doesn't, Weirdly Specific AU, What Happens at the Company Picnic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-07 23:00:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17374847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeppyBismilk/pseuds/PeppyBismilk
Summary: There's a rumor going around about last year's company picnic. It doesn't bother Phichit, but it does bother Yuuri.Or, Seung-gil kisses like a puppy, until he doesn't.---Part ofThe Finer Points of Technical SalesAU.





	1. You've Got My Hopes Up

**Author's Note:**

> This fic has a Seung-gil POV companion piece, except it starts way before this story takes place. It doesn’t have to be read first, but you can read it here: [Correlation and Causation](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17475452/chapters/41155748)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seung-gil gets extra friendly when he's drunk.

“I’m thinking of bringing Viktor to the game.”

“Oh?” Phichit raised his eyebrows. The annual Okukawa Industries Employee Appreciation Picnic/Baseball Night was this Thursday, and Viktor and Yuuri never met up on Thursdays unless it was an emergency. “Is he driving up?”

“Not exactly,” Yuuri said. 

That was what Phichit had feared. He put a hand on Yuuri’s arm. “Yuuri. You know I find your constant FaceTiming adorable, but are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Everyone brings their significant others, right? It’d be awkward to go without Viktor.”

“Wow." Phichit's voice was flat. Yuuri's one failing in his otherwise perfect personality was forgetting that not everyone had a Viktor. “Thanks. Thanks a lot. For that.”

Yuuri’s eyes went wide. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it like that! You’re never awkward! It’s just...I’ve never been to one of these before and I’m not, you know, cool like you.”

“You’ll never be as cool as the guy with a hamster on each shoulder,” Phichit said, gesturing to Momo and Cola. 

He meant it as a joke, but Yuuri sighed and said, “Exactly.”

“See, this is why we’re friends.” Phichit knew in his heart he was the biggest dork in the world, but Yuuri didn’t see him that way. And the only person who admired Yuuri more than Phichit was Viktor. Maybe Yuuri’s mom, but she definitely came below Viktor. “You never cared about this stuff before. Why not just blow off the game? Hit that 100 mile booty call?”

Yuuri’s smiled faltered. “Viktor’s in New York until Friday.”

Phichit had forgotten about Viktor’s business trip. “You could stay home. I’ll be at the game, so you two can really let loose.”

Predictably, Yuuri blushed. “That’s not—that’s not all we do when you’re not here.”

“I know,” said Phichit. Under his breath, he added, “You also do it when I am here.”

Yuuri flushed even deeper. “I-I didn’t think you could hear.” 

“Yeah, you’re not as quiet as you think you are.” Yuuri almost choked and Phichit clapped him on the back. “No worries! I've never done the long distance thing, but I’m sure it’s hard. Besides, I needed an excuse to treat myself to some fancy noise-cancelling headphones.”

There was no need to be embarrassed, anyway. Viktor and Yuuri’s dirty talk was so similar to their normal conversations—lots of “I miss you so much” and “Let me see your face”—that it caught him off guard at first (at least until the moaning started). 

Yuuri shook himself off and shook his head. “No, I think I should go to the game. I really want to make an effort to join in more.”

Just another thing Phichit had to thank Viktor for. Putting up with a little phone sex from the next room over was well worth it for the boost in Yuuri’s confidence. 

“It’ll be fine! Most people just go for the free beer and wine anyway. Last year, Seung-gil got so drunk that he kept—”

“Beer and wine?” Yuuri stammered. “Maybe I shouldn’t go.”

Phichit abandoned his Seung-gil story. “You didn’t think there’d be booze at a baseball game?”

“Not free booze! It’s easy to resist a beer when it costs $12.” 

“Everyone would love to see you cut loose a little.” Maybe alcohol wasn’t the healthiest crutch but Phichit would keep Yuuri from getting in too much trouble. 

Panic flooded Yuuri’s face. “I’d get fired! Knowing me, I’d end up giving lap dances in the dugout.”

“Exactly!” Phichit failed to see how that was a bad thing. “But if you’re worried, you can always be my DD.”

“That’s a good idea.” Yuuri looked relieved, even though Phichit had been mostly joking. “Thanks.”

Phichit shook his head. “I can’t believe you’re thanking me for making you designated driver.”

Worked wrapped up early on Thursday so everyone could head to Comerica Park in time. 

“I’m going to go pick up Takeshi and the girls. See you guys there!” said Yuuko as she, Yuuri, and Phichit walked to the parking lot. Yuuri and Phichit had already changed.  

“See you there, Yuuri!” Kenjirou Minami called as he got into his car. Yuuri had asked Minami to call him by just his first name to curb the idolization but now Minami sounded like he won the lottery every time he got to say _Yuuri_. “I’ll save you a seat!”

“Hey! What about me, Minami?” Phichit yelled back.

Minami, sounding a little panicked, added, “Sorry, Mr. Chulanont! I’ll see you there, too!”

“Quit messing with him,” said Yuuri once they were in the car. 

Phichit laughed. “Oh, you know I’m just jealous that I’m not a boy magnet like you are.”

“I am not a boy magnet!” Yuuri buckled up and started the car. “He just wants me to hire him full time after he graduates.”

“Either that or he wants to go full Lifetime movie on you and Viktor,” said Phichit. He had caught Minami studying Yuuri’s CV like there was going to be a test on multiple occasions.

“Huh?” 

“All I’m saying is, don’t hire him to be your nanny when you guys have kids, okay?”

“Stop it!” But Yuuri couldn’t suppress his grin as he added, “Obviously, we’re going to hire Yuri Plisetsky.” 

Phichit let out a blast of a laugh. “Are you kidding? He’d murder Viktor in his sleep just for kicks. Also, 94% sure he’s in love with you, too.”

“He is not!”

“Boy magnet,” Phichit said decisively. He crossed his arms in smug satisfaction. This was not an argument Yuuri could win.  

They parked and Phichit snapped a picture of Yuuri as they headed into the stadium. He captioned it with nothing but the guy and magnet emojis. 

“What are you posting?” Yuuri grabbed for his phone, frowning at the screen. “No one’s going to know what that means.” 

As soon as the words left his mouth, Phichit got notifications that  **v-nikiforov** had liked the picture and commented on it.

_ And he’s all mine! (⑅˘꒳˘) _

“Viktor knows.”

And seconds later, Yuuri’s phone was ringing. “Hi, Viktor! Yeah, we just got to the game.” His cheeks went pink and he chuckled. "You think so? I wish you could be here, too. I miss you so much.”

Phichit instinctively reached for where his headphones would be if he was wearing them before he remembered they were in public. This was just a regular conversation. Probably. 

“I’ll have call you later, they’re about to take our tickets. Say hello to Chris for me!” 

_Oh, right._ Chris was with him. He hadn’t posted anything in days. He was missing out on all kinds of Instaworthy New York restaurants.

After clearing security, they headed for the picnic areas. “So,” Yuuri began. “I know you said you haven’t done long distance, but Chris—”

“Not at all the same,” said Phichit. “And you’re doing the thing.”

Yuuri shook his head. “I'm not!”

“You’re trying to pair me up.” 

“I’m just curious.” Yuuri swallowed and added, “You sounded sort of upset about being single earlier.”

“Ah, but as a single person, it’s my right to complain. As a married man, you just have to listen and nod.”

"But I'm not mar—" Yuuri started to protest but Phichit stopped him with a look. “I'm sorry."

Yuuri wasn’t being malicious. Ever since Viktor had come into his life, he was happier, healthier, and just a little bit more oblivious. Love did funny things to people and Phichit would never resent Yuuri for being happy.

“Don’t worry about it,” said Phichit. He glanced at his ticket. “We’re Party Deck 2.”

He and Yuuri followed the signs for Okukawa Indusrties. It was already getting crowded with OI employees who had left work even earlier than Yuuri and Phichit.

Phichit greeted at the people from the physical test lab. Yuuri waved at their lab manager, and Phichit was proud of him. She and Yuuri both went to the monthly management review meetings, but they were barely acquaintances. For Yuuri to wave at her was a big step. Just the fact that he was here was huge.

Yuuri was much happier to run into Guang Hong and Leo, who were hovering by the drink stand in Tigers shirts.

“I can’t believe he accused me of having a fake ID,” Guang Hong said. “I’m 25.” 

“Looking young is a good thing,” Leo pointed out. “I bet Yuuri still gets carded too.”

Yuuri smiled sheepishly. “Sometimes.”

“Sometimes? This little stinker gets carded every time he buys a drink,” said Phichit. “It’s a blessing, Guang Hong. Accept it.”

Guang Hong pouted and took a drink of his beer. “It’s not my fault I’m short.”

“You’re the perfect size,” Leo said, nudging his shoulder. “Let’s get some food.”

“Catch you guys later!” Phichit called. Leo and Guang Hong were great. Phichit felt a little guilty just thinking it, but sometimes it was nice to be around a couple that wasn't on a perpetual honeymoon. Yuuri and Viktor were two of his favorite people in the world and their antics kept Phichit's Instagram nice and spicy. They just didn't realize how intense they could be. 

Phichit ordered a beer and downed it quickly.

Yuuri frowned as he sipped his soda. “Maybe we should get some food, too."

“Just a sec,” said Phichit. He ordered another beer, to be consumed with the meal. They made their way through the food line and found Seung-gil at the end, talking to one of the stadium caterers about an empty mustard dispenser. Seung-gil was completely devoid of fan apparel, but at least he was wearing the right colors. Phichit suspected it was unintentional. 

“Hey, Seung-gil, thanks for arranging this,” said Phichit once the park employee was gone. 

“It wasn’t my idea,” Seung-gil said. He glanced at Phichit’s beer, then looked up at Phichit and Yuuri. 

“Want me to save you a seat?” Phichit asked, only batting his eyelashes a little. He would have offered up his lap if Yuuri hadn’t almost spit out his soda at the mere suggestion of sitting with Seung-gil.

“No.” Seung-gil walked around them and Yuuri could breathe again.

“He’s so fun to tease,” Phichit said. “Calm down, Yuuri, he doesn’t bite.” Okay, there had been some teeth the last time, but Yuuri was not ready for that information.

Phichit pursed his lips. He didn’t keep any secrets from Yuuri. He didn’t really keep secrets from anyone, but especially not Yuuri.

Except Phichit had never told him about the times he and Seung-gil had made out at work functions. He had dropped hints to try to ease Yuuri's irrational fears, but he hadn’t come right out and said that he knew Seung-gil was harmless because he kissed like a puppy. It was endearing, but still. Very wet.

“He has a dog,” Phichit said instead. 

Yuuri chewed his lip. “Good for him.” Maybe he was still upset about the HR investigation. Phichit didn’t know why he wanted Yuuri to warm up to Seung-gil. It wasn’t like he hung out with him outside of work functions.

He gulped down some more beer and they found seats next to Guang Hong and Leo. Yuuko and her family had arrived, too, and they shuffled in to fill up the rest of the picnic table.

The triplets latched on to Yuuri as soon as they were done eating.

“Uncle Yuuri, your boyfriend didn’t come?”

“Viktor’s not here?”

“Doesn’t he love you anymore?”

Yuuri tried to explain that Viktor was on a business trip and Yuuko urged them to go to the play area with the other kids.

Phichit loved the Nishisgoris but they were a lot. And now, Yuuko and Takeshi were enjoying a moment of relative alone time, Yuuri was texting Viktor, and Leo and Guang Hong were chatting about the movie they had watched last night. 

“Okay if I sit with you, Yuuri?” asked Minami, appearing out of nowhere. 

Phichit needed a break. He stood up and asked, “Anyone else want another drink?” 

“No, thanks,” said Leo and Guang Hong. Takeshi and Yuuko didn’t even hear him. Yuuri shook his head and Minami copied him. Phichit was pretty sure he wasn’t old enough to drink, anyway. 

“Do you want to go find our seats?” Yuuri asked, pocketing his phone. Phichit felt a little bit guilty abandoning him with Minami but Yuuri’s plate was still mostly full. 

“Nah, you finish eating. I’m going to grab a cookie.” _And a beer_ , he added mentally.

“Okay, see you in a few,” said Yuuri. 

Phichit greeted other employees on his way, catching up in quick bursts, but for once he didn’t really feel like making small talk. 

As if on cue, he ran into Seung-gil by the drinks. The perfect companion for silence. 

“Having fun?” Phichit asked. 

Seung-gil frowned. “The next person who asks me for extra tickets is getting fired.” 

That answered Phichit’s question. “You want to go for a walk?”

It was a long shot, but Phichit was suddenly very curious about what he was like when he was sober, and he seemed sober now. Maybe they could finally be friends. He waited for an answer, remembering that he was supposed to be meeting Yuuri. Seung-gil would probably just turn him down anyway. 

“Okay.” 

Phichit grinned and they headed through the party decks. He had always prided himself on his ability to befriend anyone. All it took was patience.

They made it out into the general attendance area without saying another word but that didn’t matter. Maybe it was just the buzz kicking in but Phichit had a feeling this was going to be fun. They rounded a corner and passed an ice cream kiosk.

“Look, they have a new flavor,” noted Phichit. But before he could reveal what it was, he found himself sandwiched between Seung-gil and a concrete column. 

_Oh_. This was going to be an entirely different kind of fun. He should have seen it coming. If Seung-gil wanted another sloppy makeout session, Phichit was happy to oblige him. 

“I don’t like ice cream,” said Seung-gil, glaring at him like a man with a grudge. A sexy grudge. 

Phichit smirked. “What do you like?”

Apparently, the answer was his lips. Phichit knew that already, only this kiss was much better than the previous ones. Not only did Seung-gil know exactly what to do with his mouth and hands this time but there was tongue, and it was good tongue. Seung-gil tasted like beer and chocolate. Phichit hadn’t felt full-on drunk before but Seung-gil had his head spinning. 

He didn’t want to stop but they were both too drunk for where this kiss was going. He put a hand between them, flat against Seung-gil’s chest. Seung-gil grabbed it and threaded their fingers together. So much for slowing things down—Phichit would have fallen over if he hadn’t been pressed between Seung-gil and the column. Who the hell was this sex bomb?

Seung-gil finally broke the kiss a few heady moments later. Phichit probably looked a complete wreck, but he couldn’t take his eyes off the vision in front of him.

Seung-gil’s messy hair had never suited him so well. His full lips, even fuller now, parted as he caught his breath. With a surge of pride, Phichit admired the blush that spanned Seung-gil’s skin from his cheeks to his neck, disappearing somewhere under his shirt. 

“Shit,” Phichit breathed out. 

Seung-gil raised an eyebrow. “Good shit?”

Phichit let out something between a sigh and a groan. “So good.”

Seung-gil’s lips quirked up in a smirk and Phichit couldn’t remember seeing him look that good. Then a giggle bubbled out and he threw his arms around Phichit’s neck. There was the drunk Seung-gil he was used to.

“It’s because you’re so kissable,” Seung-gil purred, pecking at the skin where his neck met his shoulders. His hands settled on Phichit’s hips, aligned them with his own. “I could do other things to you, too.” 

Phichit’s eyes went wide. That was a dangerous offer. “You’re pretty drunk,” he said. 

Seung-gil nipped at his ear. “And you’re pretty cute.”

_ Oh, shit. _ Phichit tried to ignore how good that felt as he nudged Seung-gil away. “I am pretty cute. And I will still be pretty cute when we’re both sober.”

“But I won’t be able to talk to you,” Seung-gil whimpered, trying to bury his nose in Phichit’s neck. 

Phichit dodged his attempt. Distance was good but even in his tipsy state he could tell this was a delicate discussion. “Why not?” 

Seung-gil slumped against the column, pouting like a puppy now that Phichit wasn’t within reach. He looked at the ground as if he'd been rejected. “This stuff isn’t easy for me.”

“Hey, I don’t need easy," said Phichit. He wanted to brush Seung-gil's hair out of his eyes but somehow it seemed too intimate. Instead, he smiled and put a tentative hand on his shoulder. “But are you still gonna like me when the buzz wears off?”

Seung-gil looked up at him through thick, dark lashes. “I like you all the time.” 

Very, very dangerous. 

Phichit swallowed dryly. “Then we had better sober up,” he said. “Can I buy you a water?”

“Okay.”

Cheers and boos erupted from the crowd as the game went on, but they didn’t pay much attention as they walked around the park. Seung-gil got quieter the more he sobered up, but he seemed to like listening to Phichit. 

At one point, Phichit talked him into a selfie and even got another half-smile out of him. Phichit had never feared Seung-gil like Yuuri did, but he was surprised just how pleasant the guy could be.

They looked more like friends than two people who had just made out, and Phichit would have believed it too if Seung-gil didn’t keep brushing against him. His hand, his arm, his hip—little touches that almost could have been accidental.

Phichit bumped into people all the time, but when Seung-gil touched someone, it was always intentional. When Seung-gil’s hand grazed his back during the eighth inning, Phichit didn’t feel like talking anymore, either. 

“Do you have any special HR stuff you need to do to close out this party?” Phichit asked.

Seung-gil shook his head. “We were paid in full a week ago.”

He kept walking. He didn’t seem to take the hint, or maybe he didn’t want to. Either way, Phichit wasn’t going to push. Maybe he had misinterpreted those touches. If infrequent drunken makeouts were all Seung-gil was up for, then that was good enough for him. 

“I hate having to clean up after parties at work,” Seung-gil went on, stopping to look at an ad on the wall. 

“Then it’s a good thing we have the kind staff of Comerica Park to clean up after us,” said Phichit. It wasn't too disappointing. He was always up for a new friend, especially since his attempts to talk his way into a friendship with Seung-gil over the years had been fruitless. Getting frisky in dark corners while drunk wasn’t a traditional foundation for a friendship, but Phichit didn’t judge. He started to walk again. 

Seung-gil grabbed his hand, just like he had done by the ice cream, and the look in his eyes was more than friendly. “I’m good to drive. Do you want to go back to my house and have sex?”

Blunt worked for him. Phichit didn't need to get cute with his answer either. “Absolutely.” 

It wasn’t the best Phichit had ever had or anything like that, but when he woke up in Seung-gil’s bed the next morning wearing Seung-gil’s plain navy shirt and facing but not touching a sleeping Seung-gil, he was so, so screwed.

Seung-gil had drooled on his pillow, and his peaceful face was framed by a potent combination of bedhead and sex hair. Phichit’s Tigers shirt was a little tight on him, riding up at his waist and making his arms look more muscular than they were. They must have grabbed the wrong shirts by mistake last night and it was doing all kinds of things to Phichit’s stomach. Maybe he was just hungry but he was pretty sure he wasn’t hungry for breakfast. 

Paws scratched at the door—Seung-gil’s gorgeous husky—and Phichit got caught staring. Seung-gil gave him a strange look before he got out of bed and opened the door. He greeted his dog, probably in Korean, but Phichit’s eyes were glued to Seung-gil’s thighs. 

_Is he doing this on purpose?!_ Those tiny black shorts fit like they had been painted on, and Seung-gil didn’t even seem to care that he was walking around in nothing but his underwear and Phichit’s shirt. Phichit hadn’t even figured him for the sexy underwear type! 

Seung-gil and his dog disappeared and Phichit tried to make a plan. It was a work day, and if he hired a rideshare back home to change, he’d probably be late. Showing up in his clothes from the game was way too obvious (if he could even get his shirt back) and his work clothes from yesterday were in Yuuri’s car. Actually, knowing Yuuri, his clothes were already in their apartment next to Phichit’s other laundry. Damn his thoughtful roommate! 

He could ask Yuuri to bring him some clothes. Yuuri wouldn’t ask any questions. But Phichit could imagine the look on his face when he found out who Phichit had gone home with. 

Not that Phichit was ashamed. He was feeling a lot of feelings that morning, but shame wasn’t one of them. 

Phichit pushed himself out of bed (which was tough because the sheets smelled amazing) and put on his pants. His wallet was still in his pocket and his poor, dying phone was next to the bed. He could just sneak out but that seemed totally wrong. He checked his texts. 

**Bestie** 7:02 AM  
_ Food and water have been replenished!  
_ _ See you at work! _

If Yuuri was already up, then Phichit didn’t have much time. Seung-gil lived close to work, but they couldn’t just ride together, could they?

Then again, who was going to report him—the HR manager?

If he made it to work, Phichit would have options. He had taken to keeping a spare sweatshirt at his desk after too many spills in the lab and at lunch. His lab coat was another viable cover-up, with the added bonus of making him look extra busy. He had a toothbrush and deodorant at his desk, too, and of course, a phone charger. This wasn’t his first rodeo, even if it felt like it. 

He put his socks on and left the bedroom (which was tidy and done in dark colors that made it look like night all the time). In the time it had taken Phichit to process his morning, Seung-gil had already taken his dog out, showered (his hair hung in his eyes, finger-combed and still damp— _dangerous_ ), and changed clothes. He was eating eggs with a little side of kimchi and browsing his phone like any other morning. 

Phichit couldn’t tell what he was hungry for anymore. His shirt had been folded and draped over the arm of the couch, close to the doormat where he had left his shoes. Well, if he was being kicked out, that was fine. 

He headed for the entryway. “I guess I’ll see you around.”

“Are you going to walk to work?” Seung-gil asked flatly.

Phichit ran a hand through his hair. “Thought I might catch a bus?” 

“Closest bus leaves at 7:22. You won’t make it to the bus stop in time and even if you did you’d be late for work.”

“So…you think I should run?” It was only a joke, but Phichit was in excellent shape and they both knew it. 

Seung-gil took his time chewing a bite of eggs. “Not in my shirt.” 

_ Is he for real?  _ Phichit thought. Then again, this was an excellent chance for payback for this morning’s underwear show. He turned around and took off Seung-gil’s shirt slowly and deliberately, stretching his back and letting the shirt fall to the couch. When he turned around, Seung-gil rewarded him with an intense stare. Phichit smirked and slipped his own shirt on, only too happy to let Seung-gil eye-fuck him the whole time. 

“Well, this was fun,” said Phichit. He bent to put his shoes on and threw a glance over his shoulder. “Better hurry if I want to be on time.” He turned the doorknob but it was locked, and fiddling with the hardware was getting him nowhere. So much for his smooth exit. 

“I was kidding. I’ll take you to work.” 

“Oh.” So Seung-gil could joke around when he was sober. Had he tricked Phichit into that little striptease, too? Phichit had so much to learn. “Thanks.” 

Seung-gil didn’t offer to share his food and he didn’t say another word to Phichit. He did rinse his plate before he put it in the dishwasher, and he said goodbye to his dog. 

A rocker crooned at a low volume on the radio in Seung-gil’s car. They didn’t speak for the entire ride, and the weirdest part was that his silent, stoic thing was totally working on Phichit. 

If he thought about the last person he had slept with, there was no comparison. Chris was definitely better in bed, and the conversation never lulled. In fact, they were usually talking over each other. With Chris, everything was fast and fun—two words that definitely didn’t describe this car ride.

But he and Chris had an understanding. Theirs was a loose friends-with-benefits arrangement—no strings, no guilt, and no commitment. Phichit would be fine if they never slept together again. 

Things weren’t nearly so simple with Seung-gil. For one drunken moment, it had seemed simple, but this morning was anything but. The sex wasn’t there yet either, but if that kiss against the column was any indication, it could be. Phichit couldn’t believe how badly he wanted to find out. 

Well, he had said he didn’t want easy. 

When they pulled into the parking lot it was still pretty empty. Now that Yuuri had Viktor to make him late in the mornings, none of Phichit’s friends got to work early. 

Leo was probably drinking his coffee while Guang Hong squeezed in five more minutes of whatever video game he was working his way through, Yuuko and her husband were probably tearing the house apart to figure out where their kids had left her phone, and Yuuri was probably working on his twentieth goodbye to Viktor. 

Seung-gil turned off his engine off but didn’t get out. 

“Thanks for the ride,” said Phichit. 

Seung-gil made a little grunt that Phichit interpreted as “you’re welcome.” He figured that was all he was going to get but right after he opened the door, Seung-gil said, “Don’t forget your sweatshirt.”

Phichit looked back and there was that hint of a smirk.

_ Fuck, fuck, fuck.  _ He might as well get that smile engraved on his tombstone because it was going to be the death of him.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is seung-gil messing with phichit or is he just not very social? the answer is yes.
> 
> soooo this has been kicking around since seung-gil appeared in adventures in long distance (chapter 5: _Seung-gil blinked. “Does this conflict of interest involve a subordinate?”_ ) 
> 
> chapter title from Talk Too Much by COIN


	2. Look What You Started

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri is having a hard time processing, but really he just misses Viktor.

Yuuri had lost track of Phichit shortly after dinner, but he barely had time to miss him. Axel, Lutz, and Loop had insisted on talking to Viktor, which was adorable and endearing until Axel had asked why his hair was gray.

After Yuuri assured him that it was just a trick of the light and everyone knew his hair was _platinum_ , he and Chris had left for dinner and the Okukawa crew made their way to the stands to watch the game.

The Nishigoris, he’d learned, weren’t just figure skating and hockey enthusiasts. They were huge baseball fans, too. They even had those special paper scorecards. Yuuri hadn’t seen one since the time he went to a Hawks game with his grandpa back in Fukuoka. 

It was nice to see his coworkers cut loose, and they seemed happy to see him, too. No one made a big deal about how he was  _ finally _ joining in.

“Watch out for foul balls!” Celestino called with a smile. He had a $12 beer in one hand and his son’s baseball mitt in the other.

Leo and Guang Hong were taking selfies in their Tigers apparel and even did one with Yuuri and Yuuko. Minako Okukawa herself was there, though Yuuri almost hadn’t recognized her in casual clothes.

When he wasn’t texting Viktor, he was chatting with Yuuko. 

“I haven’t seen Seung-gil in a while,” she said with a sigh. “He gets really friendly when he’s drunk. I wanted you to see it.” 

That sounded familiar. “Oh yeah, Phichit mentioned something like that.”

Yuuko’s eyes lit up and she leaned in to whisper in his ear. “Guang Hong told me that Minami-kun saw Phichit and Seung-gil making out in the coat room at the holiday party.”

Yuuri’s eyes went wide. Phichit had never mentioned that. 

“I heard the same thing happened at the picnic last year. Come to think of it,” Yuuko took a look around their seats, “I don’t see either of them. You don’t suppose?”

Yuuri remembered their awkward exchange at the food table, and the look of disgust on Seung-gil’s face when he’d been through Yuuri and Viktor’s contact logs earlier that year. “I doubt it.” 

Yuuko sighed. “You’re right. Minami-kun must have gotten it wrong.” But neither Phichit nor Seung-gil reappeared that night. Then again, Leo and Guang Hong left early, and Phichit was always hanging out with them.

Yuuri and the Nishigoris stayed until the bitter end, and when it was time to leave, the girls were half asleep. 

It wasn't like Phichit not to check in. Yuuri sent a text from the stands.

**Me** 9:58 PM  
_ Where are you? Still need a ride? _

When Phichit didn't respond right away, panic set in. Had something happened to him? Phichit always responded in seconds. Yuuri was about to call when the typing animation popped up.

**Phichit!**  10:02 PM  
_nope_  
_sorry_  
_forgot to tell you_  
_and i won’t be back to the apt tonight_  
_soooooooo_

Yuuri pinched the bridge of his nose. "Don't say it," he muttered under his breath. 

_go ahead and be as loud as you want_  
_ya crazy kids_  
_( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_

Yuuri was going to steal Phichit’s phone and make it auto-replace that face with a boring word, like “bagel” or “doorknob” or something. He sighed and texted back. 

**Me** 10:02 PM  
_See you tomorrow._

Phichit didn't reply, and still hadn’t by the time Yuuri got home. He was probably just deep in a heat of Mario Kart.

Yuuri was going to go to bed early, but then Viktor called and, well, he did have the place to himself.

The next morning, after a sweet wake up chat and an exceptional shower, Yuuri fed Phichit’s hamsters, changed their water, and headed to work. It was going to be a good Friday because Viktor was finally coming home. Nothing could put him in a bad mood. 

Nothing except coming in to find a note on his desk from Seung-gil.

_ See me. _

That was it. Yuuri was fired. Didn’t most people get fired on Fridays? 

He must have overheard Yuuko and Yuuri gossiping about him. Yuuri had thought they had been discreet about it but maybe Seung-gil had spies. 

Maybe it was worse. Maybe the company was cutting back and Yuuri would have to lay someone off. It was the only part of his job that he truly hated. 

Yuuri resisted the urge to put his things in a box. He glanced at the picture of Viktor that he kept at his desk. 

_ Give me strength,  _ he thought. He didn’t text it because he didn’t want to worry Viktor, but there was comfort in knowing Viktor was always thinking about him. 

He took a deep breath, walked over to Seung-gil’s office, and knocked on the door frame. 

Seung-gil looked up. “Shut the door.”

Yuuri gulped but did as he was told.

“Sit,” said Seung-gil. He gestured at his spare chair and Yuuri obeyed. 

They stared at each other. Surely Seung-gil could hear Yuuri’s heart trying to escape his chest. 

_ Just fire me and get it over with,  _ Yuuri thought. 

“I always thought we were alike,” Seung-gil said. 

Beyond East Asian heritage, Yuuri couldn’t think of anything they had in common. What did this have to do with his performance, the company's performance, or what he had said to Yuuko?

“But you managed to do something I can’t.”

Yuuri didn’t understand. What had he done? Was he in trouble or not?

“I just want to know how.”

Yuuri frowned and squirmed in his seat. He couldn’t take it anymore. “Huh?” 

Seung-gil looked at him like it was physically painful to be in the presence of someone so oblivious. “Viktor. How did you do it?”

Yuuri’s frown softened but he was even more confused now. “You want advice...on dating?”

Seung-gil nodded once, so subtly Yuuri wouldn’t have noticed if he hadn’t been scrutinizing his face for any hint of movement.

“I don’t think I’m the right person to ask,” Yuuri mumbled. “I’m not suave or confident or anything.”

Seung-gil lowered his brow. “That’s exactly why I’m asking you.”

That did kind of make sense. Maybe they had a few things in common.

“Um, well, I got drunk and sent Viktor that email, and he sent me that quote…” But Seung-gil knew that already. “The next time we met, we talked and,” Yuuri omitted the dirty dancing and the hot night with Viktor (even though Seung-gil had probably figured that out, too), “now we see each other every weekend.” 

Seung-gil blinked. “You talked?” He said it like it hadn’t occurred to him before. 

Yuuri was just relieved that was the part he had absorbed. “Yes! Talking is important.”

“You talk a lot,” said Seung-gil. Yuuri wasn’t sure if he was referring to the pages and pages of chat logs that Yuuri had prepared for the investigation or his rambling this morning. Probably both.

“But it really depends on you and the other person," said Yuuri. _Stop picturing Phichit and Seung-gil kissing_ played on repeat in his head like a mantra. He wished Yuuko hadn’t given him that image, but he closed his eyes and let it rip. “Is there someone you like?”

“That’s none of your business.” 

He really shouldn’t have expected anything else. It wasn't a name, but it was as good as a yes. “I-is that all?”

“Yes.” And he looked back at his computer. Yuuri left without another word.

At least he wasn’t fired (though that probably would have been less awkward). But Seung-gil definitely liked someone and for some reason, he thought Yuuri would be able to help.

He was so preoccupied he almost bumped into Phichit in the hallway. Phichit shoved a travel toothbrush into the pocket of his lab coat and Yuuri raised an eyebrow at his desk sweatshirt.

It didn’t mean anything. Phichit hadn’t been home so of course he’d need his spare stuff. But he and Leo were about the same size, and they shared clothes all the time. Phichit could even squeeze into Guang Hong's stuff if he had to.

“Hey, Yuuri!” Phichit said. “Good game yesterday, huh?”

“We lost,” Yuuri reminded him. 

Phichit kept smiling. “Right. But it was still fun, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah, even without Viktor,” Yuuri said. “Thanks.”

“I’m proud of you. See, you don’t need your man to have fun.” He ran a hand through his hair and Yuuri could have sworn he saw some unabsorbed dry shampoo in there. “I definitely don’t need a man to have fun. Anyway, tests to run, see you later!” 

Phichit was off. Way off. 

Was that the real reason Seung-gil had approached Yuuri? Maybe Seung-gil had sought out Yuuri specifically, because he liked Phichit.

That image popped up in his head again— _Thanks, Yuuko—_ only now they were stripping and—

“Aah!” Yuuri had to think about something else. 

“You okay, Yuuri?” asked Guang Hong, who had appeared in the hallway.

“Fine! I’m just fine,” Yuuri said. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.” Guang Hong handed him a small box. “That filter paper you ordered came to my attention by mistake, so I thought I’d drop it off myself.”

“Thanks,” said Yuuri. He shouldn’t say anything about Phichit. It was none of his business. But Yuuri wasn’t immune to word vomit. “Hey, did Phichit crash at your place last night?” 

“No, why?” Guang Hong broke into a grin and lowered his voice. “Did he stay out all night? Because I heard that Kenji heard that Jamie from Marketing saw—”

“My mistake!” And it was a terrible mistake. Yuuri was spreading rumors, and about his best friend, no less. “I completely forgot, he did come home last night!”

Guang Hong frowned. “But didn’t he ride to the game with you?” 

“Yep! I forgot I drove him home.” Yuuri forced out a laugh. “Wow, my memory sure is terrible. Viktor must be rubbing off on me!”

“Okay…” Guang Hong drew the word out. He didn't know Viktor well enough for that excuse to even begin to make sense. 

Yuuri had to abort before he dug himself even deeper. “Thanks for the filter paper, see you later, Guang Hong!”

He ran off to the lab, where Yuuko and Phichit were already working. Kenjirou was hunched in a corner, monitoring the profilometer like a hawk.

“Hey, Yuuri! I was just asking Phichit about his night,” said Yuuko with an exaggerated wink in Yuuri’s direction. 

Kenjirou ducked down a little more. Phichit shrugged and said, “It was pretty quiet.”

Seung-gil was quiet. Yuuri had no idea if that was a double entendre or not.

Yuuko seemed disappointed, but she perked up quickly. “Okukawa-shacho and Ciao Ciao got totally smashed. Ciao Ciao’s wife chewed him out for ‘setting a bad example for our child at such an impressionable age.’”

“So that’s why he looked so rough this morning. Somebody slept on the couch!” Phichit sang.

It was still gossip, but at least none of the parties involved were in the room. The rest of the morning was relatively normal. 

At noon, Phichit was microwaving leftover noodles when Yuuri came in to get his lunch out of the fridge. “Off to call Viktor?” Phichit asked brightly.

Yuuri smiled. “You know me.” He usually packed a sandwich these days so he could go straight to his phone. “See you after lunch.”

As Yuuri was walking out, Seung-gil walked in. Yuuri wasn’t going trying to eavesdrop, but he could have sworn he heard Seung-gil say, “Hungry?” 

Yuuri didn’t stick around to find out if Phichit replied. He was being ridiculous. Phichit and Seung-gil were just being civil, like always. And it was still none of his business.

Still, Yuuri called Viktor from the safety of his car instead of his office. 

“Yuuri! I’m at the airport, on my way home to you.” His sweet voice was just what Yuuri needed. 

“I can’t wait to see you,” Yuuri said. “I miss you so much.”

“I miss you too, my Yuuri. Are you sure you don’t want me to fly to Detroit? I don’t want you to drive late if you don’t have to.”

Viktor was always so considerate. “No, you should get home to Makkachin. I want to see both of you.”

“So kind and thoughtful!” Viktor exclaimed. “I’m sure she misses you almost as much as I do. I can’t wait until tonight when I can cuddle with both of you.”

That sounded wonderful. “So how was your trip?” Yuuri asked.

“Oh, it was fine. Did you see my post? I had taiyaki for breakfast! Do you do that in Japan?”

Yuuri didn’t have the heart to tell him that a cake stuffed with ice cream and covered with sprinkles wasn’t traditional taiyaki, nor was it considered breakfast anywhere in the world. “It looked really good,” he said.

“It would have been better if I could have shared it with you.” Viktor sighed. “How has your day been?” 

Yuuri was dying to talk about it with someone but gossiping was getting him nothing but anxiety. Then again, he never kept anything from Viktor.

“Phichit didn’t come home last night,” he said.

“Oh?” Viktor sounded mildly interested. “Good for him.”

Yuuri sucked in a deep breath. Wasn’t Viktor concerned about Chris? “I think he hooked up with Lee Seung-gil.”

“The statistician? Good choice, he’s cute,” said Viktor.

“No, the HR manager at OI.” Yuuri blinked. “Who’s the statistician?”

“Lee Seung-gil! He contributed to an excellent paper on High-dimensional Gaussian Copula Regression that I read a couple years ago.”

“You remember this guy just from his paper?” Yuuri wasn’t proud of his reaction, but he blamed his stressful morning.

“And his picture in the publication. But I might have gotten the name wrong.” Then, Viktor gasped. “Yuuri, are you jealous?”

“No!” Viktor could read all the papers he wanted. It didn’t matter that this statistician was cute, worked in a field adjacent to Viktor’s passion, and possibly shared a name with the one person who was stricter than Minako Okukawa.

“You are much cuter, my Yuuri. And your papers are far more interesting. Shall I go over my favorite parts of your dissertation again? Or perhaps my favorite parts of your body? Number one: lips. Number two: eyes. Number three—”

“No, no, that’s okay.” If Yuuri didn’t stop him, he would definitely keep going. Even if everything else was upside down today, his place in Viktor’s heart was never in doubt. “It’s just been a weird day.”

“Hmm, so you think Phichit is hooking up with your HR manager? Oh, he’s the one you’re afraid of, isn’t he?”

“I’m not afraid of him,” Yuuri said. “He’s just intimidating. And this morning, he asked me for dating advice.”

“Then he’s smart!” Viktor exclaimed. “You’re an amazing boyfriend. Did you tell him how you swept me off my feet with your incredible dancing skills?”

“I just told him that talking was important,” Yuuri said. 

“Well, that’s good advice, too. Honestly, Yuuri, if it bothers you that much, why don’t you just talk to Phichit?”

“He didn’t exactly come out say it was Phichit…” Yuuri swallowed. “But there are these rumors going around.”

Viktor squealed. “Rumors? Tell me!” 

Yuuri was gossiping again, but he justified it as being honest with his significant other. “Apparently, Seung-gil likes to kiss Phichit when he’s drunk.”

“That’s adorable! I ship it.”

“But,” Yuuri stammered, “don’t Phichit and Chris have a thing?”

Viktor chuckled. “I think Chris will soldier on. He met an underwear model at a bar last night. Our flight leaves in an hour and I still haven’t seen him.” 

That didn’t surprise Yuuri all that much. Chris frequently hit on both Yuuri and Viktor, sometimes at the same time. Phichit was much more selective. Over the years, he had been in some serious relationships and some casual ones. Yuuri had only been rooting for Chris because Chris was friends with Viktor. 

And Yuuri wasn’t supposed to be pairing Phichit up, anyway. Maybe he was imagining things.

“I hope you have a good flight,” said Yuuri, ready for a subject change. “I need you in good shape tonight.”

“Oh?” Now Viktor was  _ very _ interested. “Do you have plans for me, Yuuri?” 

“Always.” Since Yuuri was alone in his car, he could be spicy. “I was going to wear something extra special, just for you.”

“Yuuri...” Viktor moaned, sending sparks through his belly. “Don’t tell me that right before I have to get on a plane!” 

“What about me? I have to get through four more hours of work and a three and a half hour drive when all I can think about is getting my hands on you. And my mouth.” Yuuri licked his lips. The problem with trying to get Viktor all hot and bothered was that it had the same effect on Yuuri. 

“How ever will we calm down?” Viktor teased. “Oh, I know! Just think about Phichit banging Seung-gil.”

Yuuri almost dropped his phone. “Viktor! Why would you say that?”

“It worked, didn’t it? I bet you’re not in the mood anymore.”

“Not even a little,” Yuuri muttered. At least now he would have no trouble getting back to work. “Thanks, Viktor.” 

“Any time, my Yuuri. Oh, Chris finally showed up!” Voice muffled, he called for Chris. To Yuuri, he said, “I’ll text you when we board and when we land.”

“Say ‘hi’ for me,” said Yuuri. They said goodbye and Yuuri went back inside. 

Phichit and Yuuko were finishing their lunches and there was no sign of Seung-gil. 

_Snap out of it_ , Yuuri scolded himself. Even if Phichit was—he cringed— _banging_ Seung-gil, Yuuri would be happy for him. And if Seung-gil cared enough to ask for advice, then he couldn’t be so bad. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> taiyaki nyc doesn't open until noon but let's pretend they opened early just for viktor. he's that cute.
> 
> chapter title from Into You by Ariana Grande


	3. Keep Reading My Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The weekend is off to a dry, thirsty start.

At four in the afternoon, Yuuri fell out of Planet Viktor’s orbit for a few minutes. It was known to happen, and most of the time it was for a good cause.

“I’ll take you home after work,” he said. No questions, no implications. Just kindness. 

“You don’t have to do that,” said Phichit. "Viktor's waiting!" Yuuri always left right from work when it was his turn to drive down.

“But you’re stranded here, aren’t you? Unless…” Yuuri didn’t finish his sentence. They were alone in the lab, but neither one of them addressed the elephant in the room. 

“I was just going to take the bus.” He hoped Yuuri understood that this was code for _Hell will freeze over before my one night stand will give me a ride._ Phichit wouldn’t even dare ask.

“Don’t take the bus,” said Yuuri. “I’ll take you.” 

“If you’re sure you don’t mind,” said Phichit.

Even though he would have taken the bus this morning and would have (happily) taken it after work today, Yuuri’s response was correct and Seung-gil’s response was…

Snarky. He didn’t know how to tell the when Seung-gil was being snarky and when he was just being his normal combination of blunt and oblivious.

“Of course I don’t mind,” said Yuuri, because Yuuri was his best friend and the nicest person in the entire world. It was a shame they weren’t attracted to each other like Leo and Guang Hong. People had speculated, and they had even made a drunken pact to get married if both of them were still single on Yuuri’s 40th birthday, but it all made sense in hindsight. Yuuri had been subconsciously saving himself for Viktor Nikiforov and apparently, Phichit had issues. 

Like how he couldn’t stop thinking about the way Seung-gil’s eyelashes had fluttered when he said, _I like you all the time._

Phichit couldn’t reconcile that with the man who had eaten breakfast in front of him without sharing and then had the audacity to comment on how hungry Phichit must have been by lunch. 

Viktor would never do that to Yuuri. But Phichit wasn’t Yuuri and he sure as hell wasn't Viktor. 

The worst part was all of it was working for him, and he was too confused to do anything about it. On a rational level, he knew Seung-gil wasn’t a people person and pushing him too fast was guaranteed to burn him out, but on the other hand, Seung-gil was ridiculously hot and occasionally dangled himself in front of him like some kind of cute-sexy carrot. At least, he was pretty sure it was deliberate.

Now Phichit was revolving around Planet Seung-gil and even though Yuuri would never give him a hard time about it, he didn’t want to get caught. Not until he had a better grasp on the situation. 

“Are you okay?” Yuuri asked, pulling him out of orbit.

“Yep.” Phichit put a smile back on his face. “Just glad it’s Friday.” 

Yuuri smiled that goofy smile that only Viktor could put on his face. “So am I.” 

Of course, Yuuri had to stop orbiting Planet Viktor to crash into it, and for the rest of the afternoon, he was a useless lovesick blob. 

Phichit had no idea how Yuuri made it through all these drives, but seeing Viktor motivated him like nothing else. Also, he was the safest driver Phichit knew.

On cue, he handed Phichit his phone without looking away from the road. “Can you check my texts? I told him I was dropping you off first and I think he replied.”

Of course Yuuri would tell Viktor he was going to be 18.63 minutes late, but Phichit was too grateful for the ride to tease him. 

Phichit entered the passcode and let out a low whistle at the picture waiting for Yuuri. It didn’t surprise him in the slightest that Viktor would sit around in nothing but a pink thong for almost four hours in anticipation of Yuuri’s arrival. “Oh, he replied all right.” 

“Sorry!” Yuuri’s cheeks went the exact same shade of pink.

“Nothing I haven’t seen before,” said Phichit. He fired off some flame emojis to Viktor.

**Viktor ❤️** 5:03 PM  
_ thank you, phichit!!! ( ´ ▽ ` ) _

Viktor’s ability to sort out  _ Yuuri _ from  _ Not Yuuri  _ by just a single text never ceased to amaze him.

Like Seung-gil, Viktor had no qualms about walking around in his underwear in front of Phichit. But Phichit doubted Seung-gil and would do it in front of just anyone. Viktor would probably answer the door for a stranger like that, and his underwear was considerably smaller. 

Phichit appreciated Viktor’s physique and confidence, but he never got the urge to climb him like a pole (and not just because of his endless love and respect for Yuuri). 

No, this was definitely a case of sudden-onset Seung-gil. Yuuri was so deep in the core of Planet Viktor that he probably hadn’t noticed. He probably assumed Phichit had stayed up late hanging out with Guang Hong and Leo. 

When he pulled up to the apartment, Yuuri didn’t even get out of the car. Like someone in the last weeks of pregnancy, he kept a bag packed at all times (in case of Viktor emergencies rather than babies) and he was ready to go. Phichit was beginning to understand the urgency. 

“I’ll be gone until Sunday night,” said Yuuri. “You know what that means.”

“I sure do.” Phichit winked at him. “Go easy on Viktor. He just got off a plane and those old bones aren’t what they used to be.”

Yuuri shook his head. “It means you’ll have the place to yourself, so you crazy kids can be as loud as you want.”

Or maybe he knew exactly what had happened. 

“Thanks for the ride,” he said as he climbed out of the car. Yuuri picked up his phone to check the text and Phichit added, “Tell Viktor pink is definitely his color!”

Whether it was Phichit’s comment or the picture itself, Phichit had never seen Yuuri pull out of the parking lot so fast.

Phichit checked on his hamsters first. Once he was done cleaning Cola’s cage, he let Momo take a turn in Cola’s ball—Momo’s was cracked but he didn’t have time to go to the pet store tonight. 

It would be something to do tomorrow when Seung-gil inevitably didn’t call. 

He checked his Instagram but his heart wasn’t in it. He posted a cute selfie (nearly a hundred likes within the hour but not the one that mattered), even did a story, but to his dismay, Seung-gil wasn't creeping on him. 

Phichit had never been very good at entertaining himself. He loved social media but chasing follows and likes was a fleeting sort of joy. The high never lasted long.

Phichit was still riding high from his encounter with Seung-gil, but like comments and follow backs, he was desperate for more. More walks, more kissing, more sex—he’d even settle for staring at the wall in the same room together. 

Maybe it was just Phichit’s addictive personality. It was a good thing he had never tried hard drugs. 

He needed something to distract him. Preferably, someone, and not necessarily sexually. 

Phichit never felt like a third wheel with Guang Hong and Leo, but when they weren’t hosting game night, he was pretty sure they spent all their time bumping noses and being adorable and he didn’t want to get in the way of that. 

He wasn’t about to invite himself to dinner with the Nishigoris. He was desperate, but not desperate enough to face the triplets. 

He almost considered calling Chris just to do _something_ with all this pent up frustration, but Chris never smiled at him like _that_. 

Phichit had other friends, but he was always the one making plans and instigating hang-outs. People didn’t come to him unless they wanted him at their parties, which usually suited him just fine. Still, it would have been nice to get a check in call once in a while. 

He would never tell Yuuri but loneliness had never been an issue before Viktor. It wasn't a frequent problem, and Phichit didn’t want to tarnish his happiness. Yuuri knew loneliness better than anyone, and Viktor was the one person Yuuri never needed space from. It was baffling—even Phichit, the textbook definition of an extrovert, found Viktor exhausting. But Viktor was Yuuri's true love, and Yuuri’s happiness was worth a lonely night here and there. 

Phichit settled for cooking a fried rice omelette (while documenting it with another story that went unnoticed) and watching the baking show Netflix kept recommending. 

He woke up on the couch at one in the morning and padded off to bed, feeling pathetic on a Friday night.

If Friday night was dry, Saturday was worse—until final minutes of the day.

**Sex Bomb** 23:48  
_ Hey _

Phichit sat up in bed. He had been half-watching YouTube videos and half sleeping, but now he was wide awake. After two solid days of thinking about nothing but Seung-gil, it didn’t take much. If this was his version of  _ u up? _ Phichit was so down. 

**Me** 23:48  
_ what’s up _

That was casual. Not assuming anything, playing it cool.

**Sex Bomb** 23:48  
_ We should talk _

“Shit,” Phichit muttered. That sounded serious, even for Seung-gil. He had known that this thing was a long shot, but the disappointment came as a shock.

**Me** 23:48  
_ k _

Maybe Seung-gil just wanted to slow things down. That was fine with Phichit. If he wanted to end it, that was fine, too. But “we should talk” was a bomb, and not the good kind.

Phichit’s phone screen went dark, foreshadowing an incoming call, then their stadium selfie filled the screen. Seung-gil was  _ calling _ him? To  _ actually _ talk?

“Hello?” Phichit had gone from excited to crushed to confused in a matter of seconds, so a neutral greeting seemed best. 

“Hey."

They sat in silence for what felt like minutes before Phichit had to say something. “You wanted to talk?” 

“Yeah.”

More silence. 

Phichit tried again. “What did you want to talk about?”

“I don’t know. You’re the one who likes to talk.”

Phichit squeezed his eyes shut. “That’s not how this works! You can’t say we need to talk and expect me to do all the talking. I can’t read your mind!”

“But you  _ are _ doing all the talking.” Seung-gil sounded genuinely confused, and it was kind of cute.

Phichit sighed. Just because Seung-gil had perfected his kissing skills over the summer didn’t mean he was suddenly a relationship expert. “When people say ‘we should talk’ it usually means bad news. Do you have bad news?”

“No,” said Seung-gil. “I wanted to listen to you talk.” 

That was a relief. An adorable relief. “You could have led with that. I can talk all day if you want.” Phichit took Seung-gil’s non-response as reason to go ahead. “I got a new hamster ball for Momo today. Had to drive all the way out to the pet store in Grosse Pointe but it was worth it.” 

He didn’t mention that he had only gone to that store to keep his mind off Seung-gil.

“That’s the good one,” said Seung-gil.

“Right? If I’ve got the time, I always go there. Do you go there for dog supplies?”

“Sometimes.”

“What’s your dog’s name?” Phichit had barely seen her the other night and Seung-gil never put her name on Instagram. “She’s a girl, right?”

He said something that sounded like “Pada.”

“That’s sweet,” said Phichit. The name sounded familiar but he couldn’t place it. “I wish we had been properly introduced.”

“I didn’t know if you liked dogs.”

Well, that was considerate of him. “Of course I do! You could have let her in. Makka sleeps with me all the time.” 

He realized only too late that he had mentioned their night together but that wasn’t the part Seung-gil questioned. 

“Who’s Makka?”

“Viktor’s dog. She sleeps with me when Yuuri and Viktor need privacy.” Before Seung-gil could react, Phichit’s memory kicked back in. “Wait, Bada? Did you name your dog after that singer from S.E.S?”

“No.” But Seung-gil’s response was a little too quick. 

“Seung-gil…” Phichit grinned. “It’s okay to like pop music.”

“It means _ocean._ ” Quieter, gruffer, he added, “My mom named her.”

“That’s adorable,” said Phichit. “My hamsters are Cola, like the drink, and Momo. It means _peach_ in Japanese.”

“It also means _thighs._ ”

Seung-gil was full of bombs tonight and Phichit burst out laughing. “Yuuri never told me that! You can speak Japanese?”

“Just a little.” 

“More than me if you know the word for thighs.” Phichit wanted to pat himself on the back for keeping his next thought— _Speaking of thighs, can I bury my face in yours?_ —to himself.

In his mind, the call was already a triumph. He had learned a few things about Seung-gil in a short amount of time. From there, a pattern developed. Phichit would talk about something, ask a question, and Seung-gil would answer. They talked more about pets, then video games, and finally, food. When Seung-gil said he liked meat, Phichit even resisted recommending a certain meat he could try. He really deserved a medal. 

It was two in the morning before a yawn finally interrupted Phichit’s flow.

“We should probably get some sleep,” he said.

“Yeah.”

Phichit settled himself back into his covers, balancing the phone on his ear. “Good talk?”

“Good talk,” said Seung-gil. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” Phichit could hardly believe that Seung-gil had said it first. Before he shut his light off, he couldn’t help himself—he took a sleepy selfie and sent it to Seung-gil.

He had almost fallen asleep, phone still in hand, when he saw the new message notification.

There was Seung-gil with that little smirk on his face, lying on his side like he had that morning. 

Phichit saved the picture, favorited it, and made it his new contact photo. 

Maybe  _ Sex Bomb _ wasn’t the right name.  _ Dangerous Thighs _ suited him much better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this originally ended in phone sex but i liked this version better
> 
> chapter title from Baby Don't Talk by LÉON lololol


	4. Not Really Looking for a New Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phichit and Seung-gil have their first date.

Phichit was in much brighter spirits on Sunday. Seung-gil was less of an abstract sexy concept in his mind and he was determined to keep filling in the blanks. 

**Me** 9:21  
_ want to get breakfast? _

Phichit cleaned and refilled Momo and Cola’s water bottles in the time it took for Seung-gil to respond.

**Dangerous Thighs** 9:29  
_ I already ate _

Maybe  _ Slow Texter  _ was a more appropriate name. Did he make himself breakfast and eat it before texting back? Was he that much of a troll?

**Me** 9:29  
_ brunch then? _

**Dangerous Thighs** 9:32  
_ I’m not hungry _

Phichit had meant in a couple hours, but maybe Seung-gil wasn’t a brunch person. 

Phichit considered his potential responses carefully. His current approach was too vague, but “I’m hungry for your thighs” might be a little too direct. If he texted “But are you thirsty?” Seung-gil would almost certainly take it literally. Probably just to mess with him. But then again, Phichit had a feeling no slang word was safe unless it had come into the vernacular before 1990. 

Something old-fashioned, then. But “Do you want to hang out today?” just felt too…Phichit couldn’t put his finger on it. He was so used to trying to be cute and charming with guys that the obvious choices felt weird. 

He could ask Seung-gil out for coffee but Phichit didn’t remember seeing a mug with his breakfast the other day. Not even tea. Who ate without drinking something? 

Phichit was definitely overthinking this. Overthinking was Yuuri’s department. Phichit would have texted him for advice, but communication with Yuuri was always spotty on weekends. 

He scrolled up to look at their conversation from the night before. Talking had worked last night. It was worth another try.

**Me** 9:41  
_wanna listen to me talk some more?_  
_maybe in person?_  
  
Phichit got dressed and cleaned his bathroom mirror as he waited.

__

**Dangerous Thighs** 9:53  
_ Okay _

Nothing came after that and Phichit sighed. He had hoped Seung-gil would ask for details or maybe even offer an idea, but he probably needed a little coaching. 

It was nice outside today, but Seung-gil didn’t seem like the outdoorsy type. Then again, he did have a dog and he had to take her for walks. Presumably, he played with her. Suddenly, Phichit needed to see Seung-gil throwing a ball or a frisbee or a stick. 

**Me** 9:54  
_ outside or inside?  _

Only after he hit Send did he realize that might be confusing. The pending message animation blinked for a long time, and Phichit ate a granola bar while he waited.

**Slow Texter** 10:01  
_? _

It was a long wait for a one character response, but it was fair. 

**Me** 10:01  
_sorry_  
_still waking up_  
_we could meet at a park_  
_to take bada for a walk?_  
_or like_  
_we could get lunch later_  
_or you could come over_

That last one was loaded, Phichit had to admit. He wanted to add “and watch a movie or something” but he was sure he had overwhelmed Seung-gil with messages already. 

**Slow Texter** 10:07  
_ Park first _

If Seung-gil interpreted those _ors_ as _ands_ , that was just fine with Phichit. They met at a park by Seung-gil’s house and the first thing Phichit noticed was the faint smell of sunscreen. It wasn’t bad, just very distinct. He had assumed Seung-gil didn’t care about his appearance—Phichit had only put on a little SPF 15 moisturizer himself—but he was very pale. Maybe he just hated the feeling of sunburns. 

Maybe someday he would let Phichit slather his body in sunscreen. 

_ Focus. Bada,  _ he told himself. He bent down to get on Bada’s level. “It’s so nice to finally meet you! Can I pet you?” He looked up and Seung-gil, whose stony face was completely unreadable under dark sunglasses, and added, “Can I?”

“Yeah.”

Bada seemed to sense his permission and Phichit grinned as she started sniffing his arm. Scratching behind her ears got a puppy smile out of her, and her eyes really were a brilliant blue. She licked his hands and arms as he ruffled her fur.

“Hi, Bada! I’m Phichit! Wow! You’re a sweet girl, aren’t you? Yes, you are!”

“Why do you sound surprised?” 

Phichit looked up at Seung-gil to find a cute little frown on his face. He decided to keep talking to Bada, petting her with both hands now. 

“Because I thought you might take after your daddy. I thought you were a  _ serious _ puppy, but you’re playful, aren’t you?”

“She’s a dog,” Seung-gil said. “Of course I play with her.” 

“Of course he does,” Phichit echoed in his dog-talk voice.

“Are you going to talk like that all day?” 

“But she likes it so much, don’t you, Bada?” She barked at her name and jumped from side to side. “Okay, okay! I won’t torture your daddy any longer! Let’s go for a walk!”

“Stop calling me that,” said Seung-gil.

“Sorry,” said Phichit, making a mental note to avoid that nickname in the future. At least Seung-gil wasn’t running back to his car. He stood up and wiped his hands on his pants. “I get a little goofy around animals.” 

“Obviously.” 

For a moment, Phichit was reminded of Alan Rickman in the  _ Harry Potter _ movies, but he let it go. Seung-gil probably wouldn’t appreciate the reference. 

“Do you care if I take pictures?” he asked instead.

Seung-gil’s lips twitched. “No.” 

Phichit grinned and took a picture of him, then a couple of Bada. “I won’t post them,” he threw in a wink, “unless you ask me to.”

“Don't hold your breath.”

Phichit laughed until Seung-gil’s mouth quirked again, and all he could think about was how badly he wanted to make Seung-gil laugh for real. 

They picked a dog-friendly trail and set off. _This was a good idea_ , Phichit thought. Watching Bada bound around the trail eased the silence between them. Phichit greeted people as they passed, but Seung-gil didn’t even acknowledge them. When girls commented on his dog he seemed to take it as a personal offense, but Phichit doubted anyone else picked up on it. 

When they came up on a rest area, Seung-gil led Bada to the dog water fountain. It was getting hot as the sun got higher, and Seung-gil positioned himself in the shadow of a tree. The sheen of sweat looked good on his brow, sparking a different sort of urge. Phichit vowed to make him sweat like that in bed (if he ever got another chance).

“We should head back soon,” Seung-gil said.

Phichit tried to say “mm-hmm” but it came out more like “mmmm” and Seung-gil stared at him. “Getting too hot for you?” Phichit asked, flapping his shirt to fan himself. 

“Bada,” Seung-gil reminded him, but his skin was pinker than before and it definitely wasn’t from the sun. Those sunglasses weren’t fair. Phichit had chosen ones with light brown lenses (more fashion than function) but Seung-gil could stare all he wanted without getting caught.

Both Bada and Seung-gil seemed to know the way as they followed the trail loop back to the parking lot. “Do you come here a lot?”

“It’s close,” said Seung-gil. “She needs exercise.”

Was he volunteering information? And was that why he was so cut? They had stopped at Seung-gil’s car, and Phichit tried to keep himself from thinking too hard about Seung-gil’s body.

“Hamsters need exercise, too, but they can just run around in a wheel,” he said. “It’s nice to come to the park.” 

It smelled fresher than the gym, too, but there was no way to mention that without sounding cocky.

“You don’t get out much.” Seung-gil wasn’t asking, and Phichit couldn’t tell if he was joking because he pouring water into a dish for Bada by his car. He gave her a quick stroke and let her drink. 

“Sure I do,” Phichit said. Seung-gil looked up from raised an eyebrow. “Okay, most of my hobbies are screen-based, but I go outside. I asked you to come here, didn’t I?” 

Bada finished drinking and climbed into the car. Seung-gil leaned in and said something to her in Korean and she started to lick his face.

Affection surged within Phichit, stifling the irrational jealousy. 

Seung-gil stood and faced Phichit. His sunglasses had slid down his nose to reveal those deep grey eyes that had been hiding all morning. “You can ask me to other places, too,” he said.

Phichit tried hard not to bite his lip. “Like my place, later?” he asked, trying to make it clear that “later” could mean later or  _ later.  _

“Okay.” 

Phichit sat in his car for ten minutes after Seung-gil drove off, staring at the hamster plush that hung from his rear view mirror. “Which later?” he whined, letting his head fall to the steering wheel. 

He hadn’t eaten much for breakfast. It had been easy to ignore his hunger when he was so distracted, but now he needed something filling.

The possibility of  _ later _ was the only thing that kept him out of the Taco Bell drive-thru.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is short and sweet but the next one is way too long and sexy
> 
> chapter title from Sway by Tove Styrke and yes, this song also mentions not talking


	5. I Need to Tell You Something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phichit fails to make Seung-gil laugh, but together they just might be able to salvage the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so phichit lives with his boss and lusts after his hr manager. that’s probably healthy.

Phichit ate a peanut butter sandwich at his apartment, picked up some clutter, and played with his hamsters, wondering all the while if he should text or just wait for Seung-gil to come to him. Their date (he hoped they both saw it as a date) had been fun, and he went back through his photos to post one that didn’t include Seung-gil or Bada.

_Hot day at the park ★~(◡ω◕✿)_

He uploaded the photo and hoped Seung-gil would see it. That wink was for him, after all. They had followed each other on Instagram for a long time, but Seung-gil almost never posted.

Phichit was just about to turn on the TV when his phone buzzed. Phichit had never grabbed it so fast.

 **Slow Texter** 16:46  
_Hey_

 **Me** 16:46  
_is it later yet?  
_ _（◔ฺo◔ฺ）_

The next message came so quickly Phichit was going to have to think of a new nickname.

 **Slow Texter** 16:46  
_I’m downstairs_

“Holy shit,” Phichit gasped. Seung-gil knew where he lived? _Oh, right. HR manager_ , he thought. He was beginning to suspect Seung-gil had a photographic memory, too.

 **Slow Texter** 16:47  
_I should have texted first  
_ _I can leave_

Phichit threw on a pair of flip-flops while texting, barely remembering to grab his keys as he ran for the main door. 

 **Me** 16:47  
_NONONON  
_ _don’t leave_

Seung-gil was waiting in the parking lot. Phichit reached his car and took a second to catch his breath.

“Sorry,” Seung-gil said as he got out.

“I have no boundaries,” Phichit panted, not caring how desperate he sounded. “And if I did, I’d let you trample all over them.”

Seung-gil raised an eyebrow. “You’re joking?”

“No. Yes. Sort of.” Phichit put his hands on his hips and took a deep breath to calm himself. Seung-gil didn’t want to scare him off, and Phichit didn’t want to scare him off, either. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Okay.” Seung-gil’s shoulders relaxed. “I would have left if you wanted.”

“I know. Come upstairs.”

Seung-gil followed him to his unit, which was much smaller and messier than Seung-gil’s house. At least Viktor’s influence and taken it from bachelor pad to livable space.

“Katsuki lives here, too,” said Seung-gil. He took his shoes off and looked around the apartment.

“Yep, but he’s with Viktor for the weekend.” _And he predicted you’d come over_ , Phichit added mentally.

Seung-gil stood in the front room for a while and Phichit was about to offer him something to drink. Non-alcoholic. Tea? Pop? He still had yet to see Seung-gil drink anything but water and beer.

But Seung-gil spoke first. “I used to wonder if you two...”

He didn’t finish his sentence. He didn’t need to. Where had that come from? Phichit put a hand to his mouth in mock shock. “Lee Seung-gil! Did you pick on him because you were jealous?”

“No.”

Phichit wasn’t sure if he was protesting being jealous or being mean to Yuuri. He went with jealousy. “You know Yuuri and Viktor are soulmates, right?”

“I had to read their emails.” Seung-gil’s lip curled ever so slightly.

“Try living with them,” said Phichit. It wasn’t a contest, but if it was he would win. He had seen and heard more than his fair share of lovemaking. It was adorable and he'd do anything for Yuuri, but sometimes it was a fierce reminder of just how little sex Phichit was having. “Yuuri is and has always been my platonic soulmate.”

He wasn’t an expert in reading Seung-gil’s face (yet), but from what little he knew, it seemed like Seung-gil was a little jealous of their friendship.

“Do you want to watch something?” Phichit asked.

“Okay.”

 _The King and the Skater_ was Phichit’s go-to pick, but he didn’t think he was ready for a romantic movie. Instead, he pulled up Netflix and cycled through the recommended shows, watching Seung-gil for a reaction.

The baking show? Seung-gil’s eyes lit up just a bit when Phichit landed on it. “How about this?”

“Okay,” said Seung-gil.

The program loaded and Phichit smiled. “I don’t bake but I got totally hooked on this show.”

“I do.”

Seung-gil baked? Images of Seung-gil feeding him cake flooded his brain and he swallowed. “That’s so cool!”

“I like the precision,” Seung-gil said.

They watched as the competitors made croissants, which involved folding dough over and over again with a shocking amount of butter. Phichit bought croissants sometimes for the likes (and because they tasted amazing) but he had no idea how much work it took. “Have you ever made those?”

Seung-gil nodded. Phichit could imagine him in the kitchen, brows knitted over intense eyes as he worked the dough with those elegant fingers, all of his being focused on the task at hand...

“You should be on this show!” Phichit exclaimed, pulling himself out of the fantasy.

“We don’t live in Great Britain.”

“There’s an American one.”

“Baking’s just a hobby,” said Seung-gil. “I don’t even like sweets that much.”

 _Right. He’s into meat._ How could Phichit forget? “Well, I love sweets, so if you ever need a taste tester…”

They watched a little longer before Seung-gil cleared his throat.

 _Drinks. Right._ “Do you want something to drink? Water or tea or pop or something?”

“Soda,” said Seung-gil firmly.

“You haven’t been here long enough to call it _pop_?” Phichit asked, getting up.

“I refuse to.”

“You and your fancy East Coast education,” said Phichit. He did know a little about Seung-gil, or at least he had snooped around his LinkedIn profile after their first make out session.

When Phichit returned, Seung-gil said, “Pennsylvania isn’t on the East Coast.”

“I know, but it’s east of here. Besides, didn’t you grow up in New Jersey?” Phichit held out a Coke and a Sprite and Seung-gil took the Sprite. Maybe he didn’t drink caffeine. Phichit sat back down next to him and said, “I can take a picture for your LinkedIn if you want. I don’t know how you get away without one.”

“I have a job.” Seung-gil took a drink and Phichit caught a hint of a smirk. Seung-gil probably assumed he’d been googled. People in his line of work did it all the time.

Phichit innocently sipped his cola. “So, statistics major, why are you in Human Resources?”

“I wanted a challenge.” People were a challenge for him. Phichit admired his determination.

“More of a numbers guy?” Phichit asked. He stomped down the urge to say _Crunch me like a number. Between your thighs._ What was it with hot mathematicians?

Seung-gil nodded. Phichit had never really thought about it before but Seung-gil’s personality was more what he would expect from a software engineer or one of Yuuri’s old Ph.D. cohorts. Yuuri had been the most outgoing of the bunch.

“Data is data.” Somehow it didn’t sound like Seung-gil was bragging when he added, “I was on the committee that developed the new performance evaluation system we implemented last year.”

“Seriously?” So Seung-gil was partly responsible for doing away with the old, terrible system. “That’s so cool.”

Seung-gil shrugged. “Tech startups seem to like it.”

“Dang,” said Phichit. “I was part of a round robin for a new surface roughness measurement standard and all it was was a bunch of reading.”

“I know. I signed off on your competition compliance training.”

Why was it so sexy when he said stuff like that? Maybe this wasn’t a new kink. Seung-gil was just sexy.

“But you’re like, blazing trails. That’s incredible.” Phichit put his pop can on the coffee table and pulled one leg up on the couch to face Seung-gil.

“You’re in R&D,” Seung-gil pointed out.

“Yeah, yeah.” Phichit brushed some hair out of his face and scooted closer. “So what keeps you hanging around here?”

Seung-gil met his eyes. “I like it here.”

“Oh yeah?” Phichit smirked. “What do you like about it? The company culture? Minako’s entrepreneurial spirit? The free coff—”

Seung-gil cut him off with a kiss. _Hell yes!_ Phichit thought. _If I annoy him enough he’ll shut me up with his mouth!_ It had only been a few days since their last kiss but he wanted it even more than he’d realized.

The found a slower pace today, a gentle, perfect push and pull. Phichit brought his other leg up to kneel on the couch, wrapping both of his arms around Seung-gil. Seung-gil’s hand was at his waist, gripping and releasing the fabric there with all the precision of a baker. But Phichit wanted both hands on his body and he leaned forward to try to ease Seung-gil back on the couch.

“Soda,” said Seung-gil.

“Huh?”

Phichit opened his eyes. Seung-gil was flushed and gorgeous and still holding his can. Phichit tried to take it from his hand but Seung-gil guarded it and took a long drink.

“Don’t tease me,” Phichit whined. With a dark glint in his eyes, Seung-gil put the can down and descended on his lips. Phichit didn’t mind it at all when he was the one who ended up flat on his back. The pop sweetened the kiss, but the way Seung-gil used his tongue was something else entirely. He worked his way down Phichit’s neck, lingering in all the right places, and Phichit couldn’t help himself. “Where did you learn this?”

“I tried to get over you,” Seung-gil said between kisses. “Didn’t work.” He sucked at the hollow of Phichit’s collarbone. “Good practice.”

Phichit let his head roll back as Seung-gil ventured lower and lower. He could picture it like a movie: Yuuri in Seung-gil’s office, confessing his love for Viktor, not Phichit. Seung-gil breaking things off with the mystery man he was using and running right into Phichit’s waiting arms…

No. That wasn’t even close. And the way it had happened was perfect. Except…

“Wait. So when you kissed me at the game last year, you thought I was with Yuuri?”

Seung-gil stopped trying to get his shirt off. “Not exactly.”

“And again at the holiday party?” asked Phichit, craning his neck up to look at him.

“You went by yourself, and we were drunk.”

“Seung-gil! You wanted to be my side piece?”

“No.” Seung-gil was glowering now, and Phichit worried he had gone too far. Seung-gil pushed his way back up Phichit’s body until they were nose to nose, their lips almost touching. Voice raw, he said, “I thought you were fuckbuddies and I wanted you all to myself.”

“Fuck—” Phichit let out a shuddering breath. He’d never seen this side of Seung-gil before, never heard words like that come out of his gorgeous mouth, and god, it was hot. He couldn’t match that tone but Seung-gil wanted him and that made him feel sexier than ever before. “You’ve got me now. What are you going to do with me?”

Seung-gil dodged the kiss, pivoting for Phichit’s ear. “I want,” he paused to bite his earlobe, “dinner.”

“Dinner?” Phichit blurted out.

“I owe you a meal.” There was a glint in Seung-gil’s eyes. “And you called me your side piece.”

“It was a joke!” But Seung-gil’s laugh continued to elude him. Looking back, it wasn’t the best choice of words, but the reaction it had gotten...

Seung-gil held onto the back of the couch to pull himself up. “I’m hungry.”

It was payback, but it was fair, and Phichit already had rice going from before Seung-gil came over. They ate a quick grilled chicken with rice, with Phichit trying very hard to stay calm while Seung-gil smirked at him from across the table.

“Dessert?” Phichit offered after he had cleaned up. “There’s ice cream, chocolate, fruit... Oh, wait, you don’t like sweets. Can I offer you something more suited to your tastes?”

Seung-gil eagerly shut him up, and Phichit pulled him away to the bedroom.

The room was pitch black when the buzz of a text woke Phichit. Seung-gil was a warm weight at his side and he smiled. They hadn’t meant to fall asleep but it was a pleasant surprise. What time was it?

 _Shit._ Yuuri was the only one exempt from Do Not Disturb status at night. Was he home? Had he locked himself out? Phichit reached for his phone as slowly as he could and tipped the screen toward the pillow so the light wouldn’t wake Seung-gil. At least his head was facing the other way.

 **Bestie** 2:39  
_I’m staying the night. Going straight to work tomorrow. I know it’s going to be rough._

Poor Yuuri. He and Viktor needed to just move in together already. Phichit would miss his roommate, and he selfishly hoped they’d settle in Detroit, but this was unsustainable.

But it was hard to dwell on bad thoughts when Seung-gil was dozing peacefully on his chest. He sent a one-handed reply.

 **Me** 2:41  
_goodnight  
_ _safe travels tmrw_

Phichit tried to put his phone down quietly but Seung-gil twitched in his arms, then made a cute, sleepy groan. Would he want to leave if he woke up? He was free to go, of course, but Phichit was so comfortable.

“You wanna spend the night?” Phichit whispered.

Seung-gil shifted in his arms and murmured a “yes” into his chest. Phichit could have sworn he pressed a kiss there before pulling away to the other side of the bed. It wasn’t as warm but Phichit didn’t mind. He was still there when Phichit fell asleep and he was still there when Phichit woke up in the morning.

“Do you want to use my shower?” Phichit asked. He couldn’t resist adding, “That’s what you say when someone spends the night at your place, by the way.”

Seung-gil frowned. “You didn’t ask.”

“I was being a good guest! I didn’t want to impose,” said Phichit.

“A really good guest would have showered with me.”

It took a minute for Phichit to form words after that. “I didn’t—you were waiting for me?”

Seung-gil shrugged. “You were still in bed after I fed Bada.”

“Seung-gil! You gotta tell me these things!” Phichit moaned. “Like, you could have stood in your doorway, glanced over your shoulder and said,” he dropped his voice lower and tried to strike the right balance of grumpy and sexy, _“You coming?”_

“I don’t sound like that.”

“I’m still working on the voice, okay?” Phichit ran a hand through his own hair. “If I would have known you wanted me to shower with you, I definitely would have.”

“We survived.”

Phichit wanted to think about being hot, wet, and naked with Seung-gil, but he was struck by a sudden memory of Makkachin clawing at his door one morning after Yuuri and Viktor had been especially preoccupied.

“Do you need to go home and let Bada out?” he asked.  

“Neighbor,” said Seung-gil.

Phichit gasped. “You talk to your neighbors?”

“Just the one.” When Phichit pouted at him, Seung-gil added, “He watches her when I can’t get home.”

Puppy dog eyes worked! Phichit was good at pouting. He wondered if begging worked, too, but he’d file that away for later.

“So you do this often?” said Phichit, propping himself up on his elbow to smirk at Seung-gil. Was there more than one mystery man?

“I work late,” he deadpanned. “I travel.”

But Phichit was on a roll. He poked Seung-gil’s ribs (which didn’t seem to be ticklish) and pressed on. “And who is this neighbor that has your key? Should I be jealous?”

“He’s 85.”

“Hey, I don’t know what you’re into!”

“Yes, you do.” Seung-gil climbed out, leaving Phichit dazed in the bed. How could he just say things like that and expect Phichit to keep functioning? Before he could recover, Seung-gil stopped just shy of the door, glanced over his shoulder, and said, “You coming?”

Phichit’s impersonation has been way off, but he was definitely coming.

“So is shower sex a legitimate excuse for being late?” Phichit asked as he handed Seung-gil a fresh towel, sending a silent _thank you_ to Viktor for buying them nice, new ones.

“You’re salaried,” said Seung-gil, deflecting the flirt.

Phichit grabbed Seung-gil by his now towel-clad hips. “And you’re cute.”

“Salaried employers don’t clock in.”

“I love when you talk HR policies,” Phichit said as he kissed Seung-gil’s neck. “Is it awkward that you know how much money I make when I don’t know how much you make?”

Seung-gil’s lips brushed Phichit’s ear as he whispered, “Annually, $8,291 more than you.”

Phichit stopped questioning his turn ons and just let it happen. “Well, you better check your math because you’re definitely giving me a raise.”

In the face of empirical evidence, Seung-gil got his meaning. He pulled Phichit in for another slow, deep kiss, and Phichit knew tardiness was not going to be a problem. His hands skimmed the top of the towel loosely tied around Phichit’s waist and he managed to pull away just enough to say, “Bed?”

“God, yes.”

Phichit opened the bathroom door and walked right into a bleary-eyed Yuuri.

“Wha?” Yuuri slurred. His eyes flew open at the sight of Seung-gil and then he was wide awake and going 50 miles a minute. “Holy—I’m sorry! I spilled coffee all over myself in the car so I needed to change, and I drank so much coffee I had to p—I’m sorry! I swear I texted! I thought you were at work!”

“If I was at work, I would have texted you back.” Phichit glanced at Seung-gil (who had ducked out of sight) and said, “Yeah, I text on the clock.”

“I know.”

Seung-gil knew about that, too? Although everyone at work probably knew about the texting. Turning back to Yuuri, Phichit said, “It’s okay!”

“I’ll just give you a minute! Take your time!” Yuuri retreated to his room, probably to bleach his eyes by FaceTiming with Viktor.

Phichit and Yuuri had been roommates long enough that this was not out of the ordinary. For a long time it was Phichit who got walked in on, but Yuuri had made up for lost time and thensome in the past few months with Viktor. They were both pretty immune to it, but this was Seung-gil. Phichit understood.

At least it seemed like Yuuri was warming up to him.

“I guess that’s a sign from the universe we should probably get to work,” Phichit said.

They retreated to his room to dress, and Phichit gave Yuuri the all clear as they passed his door.

“You and Katsuki want a ride?” Seung-gil asked as he put his shirt on.

“Are you kidding? Or do you just enjoy uncomfortable silences?” Phichit joked.

Seung-gil shook his head. “He has to get used to me somehow.”

Phichit froze, legs only halfway into his pants. That meant Seung-gil wanted to spend more time with Phichit, and he understood that Yuuri was a part of that deal.

“Seung-gil!” Phichit tried to hug him but with his pants around his calves, he ended up tackling him to the bed. “Does this make us _official_?”

“I don’t have a Facebook.”

Phichit snickered and kissed Seung-gil's chin, neck, jaw, whatever he could reach. Phichit was still determined to make him laugh, but he was surprisingly okay with Seung-gil being the funny one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when writer's block looms, you do what you gotta do
> 
> speaking of which, I wrote two stories about game night at guang hong and leo's place and i swear i will write my main stories again someday
> 
> chapter title from I Really Like You by Carly Slay Jepsen (aka phichit's image song for this story).
> 
> stray thoughts  
> \- seung-gil is now “the funny one” in phichit’s phone  
> \- yuuri and phichit have mad student debt but their apartment is decent  
> \- seung-gil has been listening to am by arctic monkeys on a loop because he’s been going through some stuff  
> \- i’ve edited this story to change seung-gil’s salary approx. 96 times  
> 


End file.
